What does it mean to have Bipolar disorder?

Hi readers I have been thinking that many of you may not have bipolar and may be wondering what is Bipolar and what do the symptoms look like? Well to be honest that is a HUGE question because bipolar can range from very mild symptoms to very severe.  But I want to show you all what bipolar is like for me. But please I don't want pitty from any of you this is the life God has chosen for me and I have peace with that.

First I am going to show you what Mania looks like for me, and this qoute fits me perfectly.


"Mania is the opposite of depression: exuberance, exalted mood, rapidity of speech (flight of ideas), expansiveness, grandiosity, hyperactivity, impulsivity, and poor judgment (which can lead to spending sprees). Delusions and hallucinations can occur. Untreated mania can wreak havoc with a person's life because of the great energy devoted to creating all sorts of complications."

http://www.psychologynet.org/report/depression-faq/what-does-it-mean-bipolar.htm

Right now I am experiencing some Mania but today it is on the mild side and I feel more on the hyper side. But sometimes it goes into hallucinations and that is very frightening for me I really hate it.  I have read that some enjoy their hyper Mania moments because it helps them get stuff done, but honestly for me I hate any all Mania symptoms.  For me it may start as hyper but if I don't try and calm down and get my symptoms in control it will build into the more severe side and become a living nightmare at times.


Now I am going to talk about depression and honestly this is the hardest for me to talk about.  I often feel ashamed of how I feel and spend many moments praying that God will take it away, but to be honest many times relief is far away.  As I have said before I will never sugar coat this blog I am committed to be honest with you and show you the reality in which I live.

"Depression Symptoms

Depression symptoms may include sadness, anxiety, irritability, loss of energy, uncontrollable crying, change in appetite causing weight loss or gain, increased need for sleep, difficulty making decisions, and thoughts of death or suicide."

http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-disorder-symptoms-types

Depression for me can last for minutes or days on end.  And that really is what Bipolar is it is a constant back and forth from happy to sad for no reason at all.  But Bipolar is different for everyone and I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder which according to psychiatrists is less severe than Bipolar I, but each form is challenging.  I in no way am going to make judgement on how hard it is for someone else because each of us have our own tolerance scale; I can only say how Bipolar is for me.

This post is very hard for me to write but I want to show you all a bit more of what I deal with and there is more I want to share, but will on another post.  I can only handle so much vulnerability at a time.  I hope this helps each of you with your own struggles with Bipolar wether it is your symptoms or a loved one's.

Take care and remember Jesus is always with you.