Coming back to my blog

In my last post I told you all that I was going to start a cooking blog. I have started the blog and have loved it, but I began to realize that a part of me was missing my time shareing about my struggles with bipolar disorder.  So much has happend since my last post in October 2013. Let me catch you all up on what going on in my life.

In November we started plannning for baby number 2! This is no small task for a person with bipolar. The medications that are most commonly perscribed are toxic to the developing baby. There are a select few medications that have unknown reactions to the baby, but I personaly didnt want to take any chances of the potential that the meds could harm my baby. So we slowly started getting me off my meds. We took about 6ish weeks to get my meds out of my system. This is so hard on my body, because the meds not only balance my moods they also help me sleep. But once the pregnancy hormones kick in I tend to feel better.  Shortly into the new year we found out we were expecting and recently we found out we are having a girl! I am due september 7th and so far this pregnancy has been considerably easier than my pregnancy with Katherine. My moods have been good, but I wont lie and tell you all that there havnt been hard times. Anyone who has been pregnant or been around someone who has been will tell you that there are a host of crazy hormones when your pregnant, but when you're bipolar and pregnant it is a whole other ball game.  But what always gets me through those moments when I feel crazieness is taking over, is that pregnancy doesnt last forever and at the end we will have a beautiful baby.    To inform any new readers and remind old ones with my first pregnancy I delivered 8 weeks early, and this is still a concern with baby number two. Currently I am 22 weeks and as that 32 week mark approaches I am constantly relying on Jesus to calm my fears and not totally loose control.  My doctor and I have made a good birth plan if anything should go wrong, and that is comforting, but I dont want to go through another early delivery.  I will keep you all informed on my progress as the weeks go on, but I am not going to dwell on the bad feelings that try to take over.  

In April my little girl Katherine turned 2 years old! That's right two! I can't believe it myself. Time has gone by so fast, and she has even started a class two days a week that help her work through some speech delays she has and also helps her with some walking issues she has.  We were blessed that Katherine didnt have any major long lasting problems, but we discovered in fall that she has a significant speech delay and was having trouble walking. Through therapy she has made great progress in walking but her speech still has a long way to go, but she is such a little fighter and continues to make weekly progress. She loves her new friends at school and is such a ray of sunshine everywhere she goes.  We are so proud of her and know she is going to make a great mark on this world.  She loves to play pretend especialy cooking. She serves us meals all the time, and has a host of imaginary friends she talks too constantly.  What she says is mystery to all, but hey we try to understand. I love my little girl! And soon she will have a baby sister to play with! 

I don't understand why God would bless me with such a wonderful little family. My husband and children mean everything to me. I just want to encourage everyone out there that is struggleing with a mental illness and thinks having a full life isnt possibl, IT IS POSSIBLE! I wont lie to you and tell you  that the journey there is easy and trial free, because it is hard, life is hard. But if one doesnt have trials how does one grow? It is by fire that gold is refined and purified to its sparkling beauty, and it is the same with people too.   God strengthens us by alowing us to go through hard times. I dont always understand till way later what those hard times are for but getting out the bad in us takes time and it isnt easy.  Keep going even when it's hard, even when you want to give up.  Find someone who you can trust. Someone to cry on, but when you feel alone and no one is there remember God is never far away.  He is always there, I promise! 

James 4: 8-10 nasb

8  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

 9  Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom.

 10  Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.