Friday, January 29, 2016

My Daughter's Journey

Yesterday was a big day for my family; after about a year of working with a psychologist our concerns for our daughter Katherine having finally been validated. She is Autistic. We have worked so hard trying to get her this diagnosis so that she can get the help she needs, and now it is official.  She will be four in April and to know that we have this diagnosis means so much to me. Mostly because we have had so many doors slam in our face because she had no diagnosis, and therapy's wont get approved with an official diagnosis. I feel so much hope for her future that with all the resources out there she will have a full life and be able to go to the limits of her potential.

Well what does this mean for me and my issues? Well I haven't been doing as good as I wish I was. I had been working nearly 50+ hours a week, but my mind came to a point where it just put all the breaks on and I couldn't do it anymore. So now I am working 33 hours a week and working to get my mind healthy again. I started on a medication at night to help with my anxiety and it has really been helping me sleep which is HUGE for me to control my moods. Often my mind will race as I sleep and I go into severe anxiety attacks so choosing to go on this medication has been a big help to get me healthy again. I hate being on medication. It makes me feel like a failure because I can't control my moods with out medication help, but I am learning that being on this med doesn't make me a failure. I am choosing to be healthy and if getting me healthy means I need a medications assistance then so be it.

I often find it hard when Katherine is having a meltdown or just big emotions to control my moods. It has been hard to find a way to get myself under control, but in the last 24 hours since we have had this official diagnosis for her I feel a new sense of calmness. I know now that there is a real reason why she acts the way she does and I need to remind myself of that when her emotions are getting way too much for me. I will have days when I fail and totally loose my cool, but there are always new beginnings and ways to learn from it. I am a newbie in the autism world, and I don't really understand much of it, but I am on the road to learning what my daughter is dealing with and how I can best help her.

Bipolar and Autism in one house is a lot to deal with, and I often wonder why God allowed this to be my journey, but this is my journey and my daughters journey. I don't want her to just survive this life I want her to embrace her journey and learn to thrive!

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. so much has changed and this is just the start of so much new stuff. please comment with any tips or good thoughts. Keep it kind in the comments

~remember to be kind~

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