This morning I have been blissfully overwhelmed by the loving care my husband gives me I got a low grade fever last night and was very sick and he took me to bed and lovingly cared for me. And this morning he made sure I was okay and went off to work to provide for our family. I could not ask for more in my life than a man who does so much for me. I have always wondered if this life i now have would ever be mine. As a young woman I didnt want to get married or have children mostly because i was afraid of being hurt and thought that no one would want to love me with all my baggage. But then God surprised me as He always does and put my "plans" to the wind and brought me a life I secretly wanted so badly.
Aaron has a way of helping me through my moods like no one ever has and because of him i am living a more fulfilled life.
now to add a little something extra; i am sure that there are people out there who think someone with bipolar or any mental illness are not fit nor should have children, but i beg to differ. I read a story of woman who became pregnant then a few months later discovered she had cancer so to protect her child she restrained from treatment so her child would live even though she knew doing so would end her life. And so I have done even in a very small way, I am currently not on treatment for Bipolar so to protect my child. So who has the right to say that i am not fit to be a parent? As humans we think that we have that power but in this case no one has that right except for me. I have fears just like any expectant parent, and I am no different than any other mother. I wish more people knew the real me, and mostly this is my fault because i kept my real struggles hidden for so long and conformed to how others wanted me to be. And so suddenly me becoming pregnant is a real shock to some that are close to me, but i can say with confidence that this is what God has planned for me. Yes i am scared but Christ lives in me and with that i have the ability to be a good mother. Being a parent isnt easy and having bipolar and being a parent will add extra challenges but if this is God's plan and i know it is He will equip me to be the parent He wants me to be giving me the tools that will guide me through the hard times.
Love ya, Rose. I think you will make a great mom! you just have to remember to not let the fear rule you! God is good and children are truly a blessing from Him. Mental disorders or not, we are all weak in one area or another, but His grace is sufficient and He provides all we need!! :)
ReplyDelete~Mich