Being taken care of and feeling peaceful

This morning I have been blissfully overwhelmed by the loving care my husband gives me I got a low grade fever last night and was very sick and he took me to bed and lovingly cared for me.  And this morning he made sure I was okay and went off to work to provide for our family. I could not ask for more in my life than a man who does so much for me.  I have always wondered if this life i  now have would ever be mine.  As a young woman I didnt want to get married or have children mostly because i was afraid of being hurt and thought that no one would want to love me with all my baggage. But then God surprised me as He always does and put my "plans" to the wind and brought me a life I secretly wanted so badly. 
Aaron has a way of helping me through my moods like no one ever has and because of him i am living a more fulfilled life. 
now to add a little something extra; i am sure that there are people out there who think someone with bipolar or any mental illness are not fit nor should have children, but i beg to differ.  I read a story of woman who became pregnant then a few months later discovered she had cancer so to protect her child she restrained from treatment so her child would live even though she knew doing so would end her life.  And so I have done even in a very small way, I am currently not on treatment for Bipolar so to protect my child. So who has the right to say that i am not fit to be a parent?  As humans we think that we have that power but in this case no one has that right except for me.  I have fears just like any expectant parent, and I am no different than any other mother.  I wish more people knew the real me, and mostly this is my fault because i kept my real struggles hidden for so long and conformed to how others wanted me to be.  And so suddenly me becoming pregnant is a real shock to some that are close to me, but i can say with confidence that this is what God has planned for me.  Yes i am scared but Christ lives in me and with that i have the ability to be a good mother.  Being a parent isnt easy and having bipolar and being a parent will add extra challenges but if this is God's plan and i know it is He will equip me to be the parent He wants me to be giving me the tools that will guide me through the hard times.

settleing down and pregnancy stress

well Aaron and i finally found a place and moved in December 3rd, and we are so happy to be finally home!!! It was so hard not having a place to live my anxiety and stress was skyrocketing i was at a breaking point and suddenly the Lord opened up the perfect little place to start our family.  Since moving in my moods have started to stabilize but being with out my meds has been a real challenge sometimes.  All that gets me through it is that going with out my meds is better for the baby. but i have to be honest that sometimes i just loose it and want to take them and i sit and cry then Aaron comes to me and holds me and tells me it is going to be okay and i get on with another day.  Being pregnant and having Bipolar is so hard and part of me is not sure i can go through this again.  I love the excitement of becoming a mother and having that beautiful child to hold.  I never thought that this would happen to me and i wasn't sure i even wanted it or was capable of being a mother but I feel so sure that God has great plans for me; plans I never even dreamed about but secretly in my heart of hearts wanted so desperately.
I love waking up and seeing Aaron sleeping beside me and knowing that their is a baby being created inside me.  My life has turned into one that i am in awe of everyday because i imagined a very different life for myself, and looking back i am so glad that my plans didnt work out because in spite of my present afflictions the future is bright and i can't wait to see what it's lights have prepared for me. 
Today i am in bed as my morning sickness has taken over my day, and i am trying to prevent a mood coming on, but in spite of all of this i am so happy to have my home to take care of and my wonderful husband beside me taking such good care of me. Even though my bipolar is trying to keep me down i will never let it win!!!! 
For those who reading this who maybe struggling with anything similar and wonder how to get through it, i can say with confidence what gets me through each day is a constant prayer and conversation with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ without Him nothing would be what it is today.