Jesus has compassion!!!

Over the weekend I attended a women's retreat hosted by my church and I was inspired and touched by the story in Mark 5:21-34 (shown below)

    

  When Jesus had again crossed over by boat to the other side of the lake,  a large crowd gathered around him while he was by the lake.  Then one of the synagogue rulers, a  named Jairus, came there. Seeing Jesus, he fell at his feet and pleaded earnestly with him, “My little daughter is dying. Please come and put your hands on   her so that she will be healed and live.”  So Jesus went with him. A large crowd followed and pressed around him.  And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding   for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.  When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes,  I will be healed.”  Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.  At once Jesus realized that power   had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?”  “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ”  But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.  Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth.  He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you.   Go in peace   and be freed from your suffering.”

   The woman came to Jesus in desperation knowing that He was her only hope of ever being healed.  Being considered unclean by her culture it was very brave of her to come out and pursue Jesus.  Jesus met her needs on such an individual level. How special and loved she must have felt by having someone really care about her and not treat her like an outcast, but as a real person who just wants to be loved and free from her burden.  Jesus meets us in similar ways everyday of our lives all we have to do is have faith and wait for His timing that we may touch Him.    

     As I sat in the room among ladies reading about this  bleeding woman who was an outcast it reminded me so much of myself.  I have felt so much like an outcast in my life.  I have always felt so different from my friends and others my age.  They always seemed so happy and excited and I saw myself alone and feeling many times like I was going crazy.  I saw myself as the crazy kid but not in a good way.  

      Reading this story in light of how God has met me through this blog I realize that in a large way I have been able to touch even the hem of Christ's clothes.   And just as the bleeding woman remained unhealed for 12 years I too was undiagnosed for most of my life. Like the woman my mom took me to doctors trying to find help but no one ever really saw what I needed. And after being properly diagnosed nearly 4 years ago I was able to start leading a semi-normal life. This happened in even the small ways by being able to go through the day with a depressive mood that only lasted a few hours compared to a few days or weeks.  Some may say reading this "wow that isnt much a healing." but to me that is more than I thought I would ever get. There are many times when I cry out to God and ask Him to take this from me, but that is when He comes and lets me once again lets me touch just the hem of His garment and I am given more of His strength.

       I have often thought about my life without Bipolar and to be honest I believe that I would have never had the need to rely on God this much.  I need Christ and His salvation, I need His love, I need His strength, I need Jesus!!! So remember healing comes in many forms but not always what we ask for, and so I challenge you to look for the jewels and pray for the moments where he lets you touch just the hem of His garment.   Because there is a jewel from even a touch!!!